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Is Your Relationship Toxic? Take This AI-Powered Test

By AIRTA Corp · Published August 23, 2026 · 10 min read

Maybe you've been feeling off for a while. Maybe your friends have said things like "I don't like how they treat you." Maybe you've started dreading their text messages, or you find yourself carefully crafting every reply to avoid setting them off.

Or maybe you're not sure. Maybe some days are great and other days leave you feeling like you're losing your mind. That confusion is itself a red flag — healthy relationships don't make you question your own sanity.

Below is a self-assessment quiz based on the same 400+ red flag patterns that AIRTA's AI engine analyzes in text conversations. Answer honestly — no one is watching.

⚠️ This quiz is for self-reflection and educational purposes only. It is not a diagnostic tool and is not a substitute for professional assessment. If you feel unsafe, contact a crisis hotline.

The Self-Assessment Quiz

For each statement below, answer: Never (0 points), Rarely (1 point), Sometimes (2 points), Often (3 points), or Always (4 points).

Communication Patterns

1. My partner denies saying things I can see in our text history.
This is gaslighting — one of the most damaging manipulation tactics.
2. When I express hurt feelings, I'm told I'm "too sensitive" or "overreacting."
This is emotional invalidation — your feelings are dismissed as the problem.
3. My partner gives me the silent treatment after disagreements.
Stonewalling is a form of emotional punishment and control.
4. I carefully choose my words to avoid triggering a negative reaction.
Walking on eggshells is a sign of an emotionally unsafe environment.
5. My partner turns serious conversations into jokes to avoid addressing issues.
Deflection through humor prevents real communication and resolution.

Control & Autonomy

6. My partner monitors my location, social media, or messaging activity.
Surveillance disguised as care is still surveillance.
7. My partner gets angry when I spend time with friends or family without them.
This is social isolation — a major red flag for controlling behavior.
8. My partner has demanded my passwords or gone through my phone.
Privacy violations framed as "trust" are actually about control.
9. My partner criticizes my appearance, clothing, or life choices.
Constant criticism erodes self-esteem and independence.
10. I feel like I need permission to make decisions about my own life.
In a healthy relationship, adults make their own choices.

Emotional Dynamics

11. My partner alternates between intense affection and cold withdrawal.
Intermittent reinforcement creates an addictive cycle that's hard to break.
12. I feel responsible for my partner's emotional state.
You are not responsible for another adult's emotions.
13. My partner uses guilt to get me to do what they want.
Guilt-tripping is manipulation, not love.
14. When I try to set boundaries, my partner pushes past them or gets angry.
Healthy partners respect boundaries. Toxic ones treat them as challenges.
15. My partner threatens to leave or harm themselves when I try to set limits.
This is emotional hostage-taking — a serious red flag.

Self-Worth & Mental Health

16. Since being in this relationship, my self-esteem has decreased.
A healthy relationship builds you up, not tears you down.
17. I frequently feel confused about what's real or whether I'm "crazy."
This feeling is a hallmark symptom of gaslighting.
18. I've lost interest in hobbies or activities I used to enjoy.
Emotional drain from a toxic relationship can cause anhedonia.
19. I feel anxious when I see their name pop up on my phone.
Your body's stress response is telling you something important.
20. Friends or family have expressed concern about my relationship.
Loved ones often see patterns we're too close to recognize.

Scoring Guide

Add up your points from all 20 questions. Maximum score: 80 points.

0–15 points: Low Toxicity

Your relationship shows minimal toxic patterns. Some areas may need communication improvement, but overall this appears healthy. Keep nurturing open communication and mutual respect.

16–35 points: Moderate Concern

Several red flags are present. While not necessarily abusive, these patterns can escalate over time. Consider couples counseling and pay attention to whether these behaviors are improving or worsening.

36–55 points: High Toxicity

Many toxic patterns are present. This relationship is likely causing significant emotional harm. We strongly recommend individual therapy to understand these dynamics and develop a plan. Don't ignore what you're experiencing.

56–80 points: Severe Toxicity

This relationship shows extensive toxic and potentially abusive patterns. Please reach out to a professional immediately. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text "START" to 88788 if you need immediate support.

Why This Quiz Isn't Enough

This self-assessment is a starting point, but it has limitations:

This is exactly why we built AIRTA. Instead of relying on self-assessment, AIRTA's AI analyzes your actual text conversations — the exact words, the patterns, the frequency, the escalation. It applies 400+ red flag detectors objectively, without the emotional bias that comes from being in the relationship.

How AIRTA Works

Ready for the Real Test?

Stop guessing. Let AI analyze your actual text conversations and give you an objective, data-driven toxicity report. Free to download.

Try AIRTA Free Get on Android Get on iOS

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